I must be Stupid

Detritus Wed Mar 09, 2011 4:39 pm

An Image of Joey Porter appears on the screen.
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Joey Porter: I am here with Detritus who with his new partner Aleister Deadgrave will very shortly get the chance to retain his tag team title against his old partner Xoric and his new partner dreamslasher.
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Joey Porter turns to Detritus.
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Joey Porter: Detritus are you confident for your match tonight ?.
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Detritus: Of all the moronic questions Joey, of course I’m confident why wouldn’t I be. Neither Xoric or dreamslasher have as much talent in there whole body’s as me and Aleister have in our little fingers. Xoric was a nothing, a nobody until I came along. Now he is still trying to hold onto my shirt tales. The thing is I feel sad for Xoric. I feel sad that when he wakes up in the morning he will have nothing. You could say that his dreams will have all been slashed to pieces. You see I am the Friday night Delight, the man with the power.
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Joey Porter: I see and if you do lose ?
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Detritus: Joey, Joey, Joey in all your time in this business you really do not have a clue do you. I guaran damntee that will not happen.
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Joey Porter: On Tuesday Detritus Crushing force issued you another challenge in fact they said they was going to turn up tonight to confront you. It seems you really upset them.
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Detritus: Oh my god they did, didn’t they you havn’t seen them anywhere have you at all ?
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Joey Porter: Well No.
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Detritus: Oh thank god.
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Joey Porter: Your actually worried they are here ?
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Detritus bends over and starts to laugh
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Detritus: Oh that’s a good one you are so gullible Joey. Of course I’m not, I couldn’t care if they brought the army, navy or the boys from the blue oyster bar. So I really upset them, boo hoo. I hurt their feelings, Im so sorry, I didn’t realise we had to be careful about one another’s feelings. I thought this was about wrestling next thing they will want to discuss flower arranging, that’s of course when your not talking about pounding asses. In fact if I remember right, you said you wanted to pound more than one ass all over the arena. .In fact asses for some reason seem to be mentioned by you an awful lot as if they seem to be on your mind a lot, but just why that would be I don’t know. Maybe it is because as you said I am stupid. Detritus do you know why that could be Joey ?
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Joey try’s to stop sniggering.
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Joey: N,n,n,n No I don’t Detritus.
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Detritus: Maybe it is because I am a wise guy, well obviously you are both smarter than me Crushing force as you would challenge someone for a contested title that until tonight there was no decision on when It would be decided who would have the right to name them selves PWHF tag team champions. In fact you are so clever that you complain you recently loss you last job, but even when the ink still has not dried on the contract you signed in PHWF, that you are willing to put those contracts on the line. You are going to gamble it all away. Now excuse me for being stupid, but why would a clever man do this, maybe you can help me Joey ?
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Joey Porter: I think your doing fine on your own Detritus.
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Detritus shrugs his shoulders.
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Detritus: Oh well, maybe I should come to my next point I am sure I seem to recall that one of the wise men of Crushing Force wanted me to try and change my self into Kevin Costner ?
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Joey Porter: I don’t seem to recall that ?
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Detritus stops and scratches his chin for a moment.
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Detritus: I’m sure they did when they said they wanted me and Aleister to become their Bodyguards. Which I don’t mind but what I want to know which one of you two is meant to be Whitney Houston. Well I am sorry guys I will not always love you. If that is what you two guys are into what I suggest you do is get a damn room together. Ive said it before and I will say it again very slowly so you can both read my lips and understand me. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO IMPRESS ME. In fact if it wasn’t for the interruption on Tuesday you two would have lost even quicker. Now if you do manage somehow to impress me at the PPV I might and I mean might just think about discussing with my partner the possibility of giving you two a title shot. So in the mean time Big Devil keep pumping those weights because you will never have a body that looks as good as the reflection of perfection, because nobody is as strong or as beautiful as me. Now if you don’t mind Joey I have to show another upstart tag team nobody can withstand the force of nature.